I have finaly managed the will to write this even if it is DA....

I fear I have been crule to those close, I also fear they do not know me well enough to understand the only one that understood my spiritual/religous views and practice has passed. She lived 26 years, however she lived each day of that 26 to the end, she drew every once of joy and life she could out of every day....I lack her will...I find this place to have to few joyful moments...truly she was special...It would seem I may never find anyone to match her understanding of me....The divine only knows what they have taken from me, It haunts my dreams...I'd give anything lest I have the power of reserection...no...Im no God...such power is reserved for truly inlightened and blessed....I can run as far and as fast as I want but the shadow of mortality still binds me to this world...trechery.....spirits bound to corpeses erected of clay.....how crude...If care was taken perhaps the proper statue would be paired to the correct spirit....such bondage......for whom do I serve...the blessing of free will be ye upon mortal wisdom lest they fall to smoke and mirrors.....